The Guards Hotel

The room was tiny and unbearably hot, with only the tops of the windows opening for air. The shower stayed cold, so washing my hair was no easy task, and the TV didn't work properly. Once you're in, they leave you to your own devices. There is a phone number for Hamed, who says you can call at any time. That could be seen as a positive or a negative.

For £37, I guess you get what you pay for. The room was basic with an ensuite, but the shower was freezing and I could barely fit under it. A large business building looks straight into the bathroom, so people in the shower are easy to see. The location was awful for noise. Bin lorries, trams, buses and more woke me at 5am. I checked out at 8am and couldn't get away fast enough. What else should you expect for £37?

Awful. The rooms are dirty, and the photos look nothing like the actual room. The carpet and walls were dirty, and the pillows were awful. Don't be fooled.

For around £80 for a Sunday in midsummer, this was a good deal in Haymarket. It's not a nice hotel, but the bedding, mattress, towels, toilet, floors, and other surfaces you touch were clean. The inside of the radiator, though, had more dust than I've ever seen, and the paintwork needs attention. You're paying about half what other hotels cost and barely more than a youth hostel for two people. The manager was super friendly and helpful, and the cleaning staff were nice too. I didn't get the manager's name, but thought he might be Eritrean. For an overnight stay or long weekend, it's a perfectly fine two-star place for a barebones, cheap, central stay. I wouldn't spend a week there, but I appreciate that they haven't turned it into a boutique hotel at triple the price. Our bed wasn't very comfortable. I think we got the worst room at the top of the building. The bathroom was added later, after having been a shared bathroom down the hall, and it's awkwardly and amateurishly inserted into the room. We arrived very early and got the first available room. I saw all the rooms at check-in, and some we passed did look like the photos. Every room is different, though.