Maracaibo

The sea was clean, and the beach, though rocky, made for a lovely spot to spend time by the water. Beach shoes would be a good idea. We especially enjoyed the beach’s food, particularly the Neapolitan pizza. The whole place was tidy and very clean, and if anything had gone wrong, it seemed well organized to handle it, though we didn’t have any problems. It was a wonderful experience, and we’ll definitely be back.

The beachfront setting is really striking, and the beach itself has kind people and serious workers. The bar felt a bit pricey, though. The umbrellas and loungers are packed too closely together, and there’s little to do there beyond pedal boats and table football. Music, dancing, games, exercise, or other activities would help. The accommodation is the main reason I wouldn’t return. The houses are very small and uncomfortable, and dividing each building into two units instead of three might have allowed for more space, comfort, and privacy. The bathrooms felt third-world, with showers beside the toilet and curtains still in place. There’s been no proper maintenance: every house smelled of sewage, and someone had to deal with anthills. The air conditioning kept switching on and off, was noisy, and seemed poorly maintained. Some cutlery was rusty and dishes were missing. It felt more like camping than staying in lodgings. It’s a shame, because this place could be a real showcase in another region. It seems driven by getting as much money as possible instead of making people want to return. Guests shouldn’t be treated like a campfire. They should be welcomed as tourists and made to feel looked after. The place is frequented by many Neapolitans, some good people and some less so. The owners should check in with guests, ask if everything is all right, and make them feel welcome. It would also help to renovate and properly maintain the homes, with the comforts and essentials people expect when they leave their own family home. Agreements between the beach and lodgings could help too. Guests may spend a little more when they see that both sides are invested in their stay.

The fish was incredibly fresh and cooked beautifully, and the other dishes were excellent too. It’s a charming setting, with professional, friendly staff. The price felt fair for that level of quality. With Neapolitan management, it made for a top-notch meal.

I can’t remember ever wishing I could give a restaurant zero stars before this. The first problem was the welcome. Imma had reserved a table for 20, but when we arrived, three seats were missing, so we had to add a small table. Rosario, the “maître d’,” and the bald waiter caused much of the trouble. On our first visit, Rosario said there was an à la carte menu but didn’t want to bring paper menus, which are illegal. After suggesting a few first courses, he brought the menus anyway and told us some pasta dishes weren’t available. We waited two hours. My better half had ordered scialatielli but got spaghetti with seafood instead. It was dry, tasteless, overcooked, and barely had any seafood, just three clams and two mussels. The €5 cuoppo was an outright rip-off: poor-quality sliced cheese passed off as mozzarella, lots of oil, badly cooked food, and calamari cooked until orange. The fior di latte on the pizza seemed watered down. The worst moment that first evening was seeing the mysterious maître d’ scold a young waiter who was only trying to help. We thought maybe it was just a bad night. On our second visit, the “very polite” maître d’ asked if everything could come out at once. That turned into chaos, with pizzas arriving before appetizers and main courses showing up hours later. The pizza dough hadn’t risen. I couldn’t sleep that night, even after walking four kilometres along the seafront. There were no wine glasses, and the only gluten-free option was a Margherita pizza for celiacs. A waiter hit one of our colleagues on the head with a plate, then spilled oil from a plate onto Franco’s wife, getting her hair, trousers, bag, and chair greasy. A few minutes later, a bald waiter came out and accused us of mixing up the orders. The only good things were the two young waiters, the guy with glasses and the red-haired girl. They were the only decent people there, and they could see for themselves all the misfortunes happening around them. The food was terrible, the organization was awful, some waiters weren’t up to the job, waits dragged on, and some prices were inflated. There was no green pass requirement. The paper menus were illegal and never washed. On our second visit, one had the same stains as the first time. Waiters weren’t wearing masks, and one “lost” a bit of saliva on my wife’s cheek. I’d only repeat this experience if I were a fan of trash. As the wise Lucia once said, “If you think the food here is good, I’ll have to take you somewhere.”