The Farmhouse

Room 1, the suite, was especially peaceful and comfortable, with a huge bathroom, soft roomy robes, towels and slippers, plus strong air conditioning. There was plenty of parking too. We were visiting Guernsey for the first time, and this was one of the best hotels we've ever stayed in, possibly the best. The rooms are well equipped, the food was outstanding, and the staff were friendly, helpful, and well trained. There can be noisy events now and then, though guests are told in advance. We couldn't fault our stay and would happily come back or recommend it.

The room itself was dirty, with a filthy patch of carpet by the bed, mouldy-smelling shower, and dirty cups for tea and coffee. Traffic noise came through the cheap windows all night, so I slept badly. My first impression was that the place looked nice, but that didn't last. My room above the bar was so noisy I had to move. I also heard staff openly discussing a guest who'd complained about a meal, right within earshot, with no effort to keep the conversation private. They seemed not to care about anything. The prices are shocking for such a hovel. Awful hotel, I'd choose Premier Inn instead.

The two women, one at the main desk and one in the breakfast room, gave impeccable service. That's the one thing I can praise. The food was okay, but not worth what it cost, and I now understand some of the reviews saying so. Music played from 7:30 until 22:00. That's fine in itself, but the cover singer's warbling got sickening after a while, and we could hear it in our rooms. The shower and sink never produced hot water, no matter how long we ran them in the morning. The bath eventually got warm, but by then we just wanted to leave. The beds were uncomfortable, and duck feather pillows don't automatically make a room luxurious. There was a crack in the wall, the towel rail had been badly fixed back with the wrong fittings, and the TV mount was a mess of cables. It looked like nobody had taken pride in the place. I really don't see how this deserves four stars.

The small size of the hotel made our two day stay feel personal and exclusive, and it was a lovely place to unwind. Our room was spotless and spacious, with very comfortable beds and a lovely bathroom. The staff were welcoming and fantastic, always glad to help with anything we needed. Breakfast had a really good selection and was freshly cooked. We didn't have dinner there. Buses stop on the road outside and go to St Peter Port and the Airport.