La Picasso Guesthouse

I paid a premium expecting a proper rest and barely slept. Doors banged until at least 23h30, people were loud, and a pump or something beside my room kept switching on and off every 5 minutes. A guest in a nearby room also had the TV blaring into the early hours. I like a quiet place when I travel, and this was the worst resort I've stayed at. I'd sooner park at a filing station and sleep in my car than book here again, no matter how desperate I was. The room lighting was so dim I couldn't see myself in the mirror with the lights on, and parking was improper. There was no soap, shampoo or body wash. The website's advertising was fake: no pool or restaurant on the premises, and no kitchen in the room. One bathroom basin only had hot water, with no cold water from the cold tap; the other basin wouldn't drain because its waste was stuck. I'd read reviews about toiletries from a few years ago and thought that might have changed, but it seems to be the same story. In my opinion, the room wasn't worth half of what I paid. I understand the guests who had bad experiences, and as far as I'm concerned, the good reviews must be fake too, just like the website advertising. If zero stars were possible, I'd give that.

I felt safe with my car behind the remote-controlled gate, and the place was quiet. Reception was welcoming, the room looked impressive and clean, the sheets were fresh, and Wi-Fi stayed stable. A desk would be useful for work or writing. A few fittings felt awkward: the toilet seat was too high, the loose bathroom tap was too big for the cabinet, and the shower was oversized for its space and set too high. The bedside lamps also didn't fit well on the tables. Fixing those little things would make the room more comfortable and convenient.

The rooms are nice, but there's no peace and quiet. People leave their doors open, shout along the hallways, and go back and forth like it's a shebeen party. I called reception twice about the loud voices. Guests are inconsiderate, so this isn't the place if you want a quiet stay.

I can't rate La Picasso higher than “Poor” after this stay. Breakfast was below standard: good bacon, Viennas, a processed-meat burger I only took one bite of, and scrambled eggs with no choice of how I wanted my eggs. The coffee was the cheapest instant brand, and when I asked for sweetener instead of sugar, they said they didn't have any. The water in the shower swung from steaming hot to lukewarm to ice cold, then steaming hot again, so I spent much of the time trying to regulate it. The shower cubicle itself was large and well designed, and the bathroom is nice, but its steel window frames badly need paint. The room and bathroom were well designed too, though one bed lamp didn't work and the other had a broken shade. It was hard to find an outlet, and I managed only after moving a chair away from the wall. There was no soap at the basin or other toiletries such as shampoo. My room had no opening windows or air conditioning. The bed was comfortable enough, but it would have been a problem if my wife had come with me as usual, since the guesthouse only has double beds, not the more common queen size. The linen seemed the cheapest available and long past its use-by date; the sheets weren't white anymore and should have been discarded long ago. Parking was insufficient. During a storm I had to drive through a narrow driveway, park behind the house on a muddy patch, then walk through mud to my room. Around 11 pm, the front desk called to ask if a car blocking the driveway was mine, though they could have checked my registration form and seen it wasn't. At around 05:15, a big machine woke me. It may have been a washing machine or something from nearby, since the guesthouse is in a business area, but either way I couldn't get back to sleep.