The King Edward Hotel

Don't park here. A man with what looked like a fake badge approached us, then another car with locals appeared just as we needed a ticket. Similar stories are in other reviews. When we didn't stop, they followed us and said at the red lights that we'd be arrested for not having a parking ticket. Okay, bye.

The breakfast was a sheet of paper with “egg, tomato, sausage” pencilled on it, and after half an hour we learned they had no food at all. The other guests were getting frustrated too, and everyone left grumbling. That was one of several problems during my stay for the Ironman 70.3 World Championship in September 2018. I arrived early and understood that my paid ocean-view room wasn't ready, so I agreed to leave my bags in another room. At first it looked decent, and I put my things in the wardrobe before going into town. When I came back late, the queen bed had been stripped and my waste bin was gone. My bags were still there, thankfully. Staff couldn't replace the bedding, and although they said they'd move me into the room I'd paid for, they'd given it to someone else. There was no computerized system, and I had to check in twice because they lost my original handwritten form. I kept the temporary room's skeleton key instead of returning it as requested, since I figured they might give that room away too. They apparently didn't have enough sheets and covers for the whole hotel. When another guest arrived, staff took the bedding from my room to prepare theirs. After flying for most of 50 hours, I was jet lagged and cranky. By midnight I had to accept a twin mattress with no sheets, just a comforter, and that was my bedding for the rest of the visit. I also found missing light bulbs, a dead phone, and pigeon feathers and droppings in the room. The place was very dark at night, with only one or two bulbs in the few fixtures that had any. Red carpets made it look like a scene from The Shining. Rain came into the building, though my room stayed dry, and staff used bed comforters like mine to try to keep the floors dry. The night before the women's race, karaoke went on somewhere in the building until 3 AM. On my race night, a wedding there played loud DJ music until 1 or 2 AM. I slept in noise-cancelling headphones both nights, which isn't ideal before an Ironman. When I asked where to buy water, the receptionist said the nearest grocery store was 5 km away. I later found a convenience store right across the street. Near it, someone whistled at and followed me, asking, “yo, you want some of this weed?” while showing me a lit spliff. I politely declined. I guess the town lives up to its friendliest-city slogan. This is the most badly managed dump I've had the misfortune to visit. I left Port Elizabeth and South Africa with a bad taste in my mouth, which is a shame because I'm sure the town and country have plenty to offer. The hotel bears most of the blame for my poor experience. I'd urge everyone to avoid it at all costs.

We'd booked and paid for our rooms a month ahead, but when we returned that evening, reception told us there was nowhere for us to stay. Earlier, at 1:30 in the afternoon, they'd said the rooms weren't ready and gave us a key so we could leave our luggage, promising the rooms would be ready and our keys would be at reception later. After a lot of arguing, we had no choice but to drive the 300 km back to East London at 1:30 am. They said our money would be refunded, but four days later we still hadn't received it. Staff don't respond, and management is incompetent and unwilling to help. Worst service and experience we've ever had. Don't ever book at the King Edward Hotel in Port Elizabeth. You'll be seriously disappointed, guaranteed.

People warn that the parking lot in front of the hotel is known for parking scams. Someone approaches wearing an official-looking badge and says parking must be paid, but the ticket machine is broken and you need to pay at a nearby ATM. Another car parks beside you, and that driver backs up the story and offers to show you where to pay. They then try to get you to follow their car to the fraudulent ATM, where your credit card is manipulated and your account emptied within seconds.