Appart'City Poissy

If you're nostalgic for a smoking room, the yellowed wallpaper lets you breathe in that sweet nicotine smell. Want to cook? Take the appliances outside, like you did as a student. The fridge is there, but it's just decorative. Friends of crawling insects can greet them in the morning on the way to the unique bathroom, where the seal changes color with age. The detachable faucets let your children play plumber. A quaint, idyllic room for anyone hoping to step back in time. Come along and add to the story.

The rooms are dirty, rundown, and poorly insulated. There are often lots of tour buses, too, and they're noisy and inconsiderate. Trains passing all night make the interesting location unbearable. The staff are unfriendly and at times seem incompetent, with unjustified extra charges and little help. Avoid this place if you want peace and quiet, or if you don't want to negotiate every morning just to get the hotel's services.

This doesn't deserve a three-star rating. Cleanliness was poor, and the bathroom had a hole in the wall. The toilet paper holder and shower holder wouldn't stay in place, the sink plug button was broken, the taps were dirty, the shower holder was loose, and the flush button wouldn't stay on. The cupboard door had come off its runners. I booked for two people, but there was only one bath towel. The Hotel-info website also gave incorrect reception and weekend breakfast hours.

The kitchen was completely wrecked, the toilet didn't work, the curtains were hanging down, and the carpet was so filthy it made you want to... I've never seen a hotel room in this condition for €134. Avoid at all costs unless you're after a truly extreme experience. I was also charged by mistake for breakfast I hadn't eaten, and couldn't get a refund at the property. I won't soon forget this stay. One thing is certain: Appart'City only cares about profit and loss. The customer? What's that all about?