Helme Park Hall Hotel

A handy base for Durham, and when we struggled with directions they even gave us a route planner. The hotel has an old-fashioned, quaint feel, with nothing flashy, but nothing seemed too much trouble. The staff were fantastic, and the chef was great. I’d recommend the prawn cocktail with a twist and the rump steak with blue stilton sauce. The Argentinian bar guy was nice and really helpful. We’ll definitely go back.

The steak and ale pie was lovely, with plenty of thick, tender steak and perfect pastry. My five-year-old was happy too: she got paper and crayons when she asked, and the chunky handmade chips and real chicken nuggets went down well. We came for lunch with a friend and three children, and as usual the staff were lovely and eager to help. My husband-to-be and I are getting married here in nine weeks, so we’d popped in for another look around. We’re already looking forward to coming back for the christening on Sunday.

The dated TV is rubbish, but who cares? The staff, food and views are what matter here. You can sit with your partner and a bottle and watch the sun set over the Wear Valley, after being waited on hand and foot. Nothing is a problem for the staff. I’d pay double for this place. I’ve stayed in some s**t holes and even had hotels with five stars refund me. If you need to switch on the old TV, you’re in the wrong part of England.

The place was abandoned, with every room wrecked. I had the whole hotel to myself, but there was mold everywhere and it stank.