Cheltenham Townhouse Hotel

There’s lots of quirky artwork by the owners, and the B&B has a unique, friendly feel. The rooms are a decent size and well looked after. Mine was clean overall, though dusty in places rather than spotless. Breakfast was okay, but didn’t live up to its reputation. Be ready for lots of narrow stairs if your room is on the top floor.

Seriously, don’t book this place. Checkout was a mess: they demanded payment even though we’d paid through a booking app, saying it didn’t count because they hadn’t received the money yet. They got quite threatening, so we paid again and left. It took weeks to get our refund. In emails, the owner resorted to personal insults and claimed we’d damaged the property. We had to start legal action to get our money back. Breakfast was poor too. They served instant coffee in a cafetière, and the only choice was eggs on toast, with tomatoes, potatoes and mushrooms. They apparently care a lot about vegetarian food, but made no allowance for anyone who was GF. We could hear the microwave pinging constantly. The food was barely edible, overcooked and cold at the same time. The bathroom was awful, with a cheap electric shower that swung from freezing to scalding in an instant. The room itself was okay. When we arrived, we were the only guests. They asked when we wanted breakfast, then firmly told us it would be at 0830 before we could even answer. The whole experience was utterly bizarre. They don’t seem set up for guests to have a positive stay at all.

Breakfast wasn’t available when I went downstairs at about 8am, and there were no signs explaining where to go. They did arrange a parking permit for my car, but overall it was a very poor stay. I couldn’t initially find the hotel. I called the number listed on the site and left a message, but got no reply. When I eventually found the property, I had to knock to get in. The gentleman who answered was pleasant, but didn’t know I was coming and said there were no bookings that day. Luckily, I could prove my reservation with an email chain and payment receipt. After about ten minutes of him shuffling around without shoes, I was left alone in the corridor while he looked. They found the reservation, but the room wasn’t ready. I was told my bag would be taken up once it was, yet when I came back later that evening it was still in the corridor.

The room was very basic, old and outdated, with poor lighting. WiFi was terrible, and I couldn’t get access in my room. There wasn’t even any toilet paper, which is a basic necessity. The sewage made a loud noise whenever someone else used a tap, and customer service was poor too. It definitely wasn’t worth around £70 a night, and I wouldn’t recommend it.