Hala Hotel & Aqua Park

The building has striking architecture and must have been grand once. You can still see what was once a high-end hotel, but it is past its prime and needs updating and redecorating. The air conditioning in our room worked well throughout, and the gentlemen on front security were extremely polite and courteous. There's also a pool, open until 23.00pm. Even so, after our experience I wouldn't return, and would choose a better maintained place next time. I hope they can improve this once majestic hotel and draw more guests who can enjoy it. For a hotel that's supposed to be 5 star, our spacious room was extremely expensive for what it offered. The TV didn't work, the wi-fi was dreadfully slow, the towels were old and frayed, and there was only one when we arrived. Cleaning was poor too: I found previous guests' pills under the furniture and a razor blade behind the bathroom door. The shower was broken and the water was mostly cold, so the rainfall-shower reviews aren't accurate. The breakfast buffet was bad. Much of the food was stale or inedible to me, including canned hot dogs fried with onions and sliced spam. Often there was no coffee, and whenever I asked for the pot to be refilled, I was ignored. Freshly cut watermelon and cereal were my saving grace. Platters were often left empty when items ran out, even though there weren't enough guests to justify that. The omelette I was served was raw inside, and I couldn't stomach another after that. Halfway through our stay, a hotel function used a full sound system that blasted music for hours, past midnight. The bass speakers shook my room and made the night unbearable. Nobody told us about it when we paid, and it was incredibly upsetting for my partner, who has sleep-related problems. If you don't speak Creole or Portuguese, communicating with staff is almost impossible. There are other Bissau hotels with English-speaking employees and a higher standard. Prices across the hotel are extortionate, from currency exchange to a simple coffee, and the bar never gives the correct change.