Crystal Ocean View Tulamben Hotel

We’d booked and paid in full for two standard rooms, and the reservation was confirmed. When we arrived, the hotel said it was booked out and could give us only one room. Reception was rude and dismissive, even though the overbooking was their mistake. Complete scam. 0/5.

The beds were the worst hotel beds we’ve ever had, even compared with cheap places we’ve stayed in around Southeast Asia. Springs and metal poked us, and we kept shifting around all night. The place could be nice, with a pretty pool, but it’s run down and quite dirty. We saw three rats, including one running along the kitchen pots, and didn’t dare eat the food or swim. The pool and outside areas were dirty too. A young woman, about 20, and two teenagers seemed to be doing all the work. We had no extra toilet paper or rubbish bin in the room. The mini fridge was very loud and never got cold, and the small AC didn’t cool the whole room, leaving one bed really hot. The dog barked at night and woke us up. We did order food when we arrived: the three girls cooked it. The noodles were good but the portion was tiny, while the fried rice and noodle soup were flavorless. The hotel has about three different names and was hard to find. It’s on the main highway, with nothing nearby, so you need a scooter or driver to get food. I definitely wouldn’t stay again, especially not for two nights.

There’s nothing nearby, so you need a scooter to get a proper dinner or anything else. The place was dirty, the room was dirty, and loud noises at night kept me awake. There was no toilet paper or towels in my room when I arrived, and the staff seemed unsure what they were doing. Breakfast supposedly comes with a couple of toast slices and jam, but when I asked for jam, they said they didn’t have any. I can’t recommend this place at all.

The rooms look great and the pool is lovely and deep, but the letdowns added up. There was no TV remote in sight and the cups in the room were dirty. Don’t bother eating here: the cook took 30 minutes to show up, and what we ordered wasn’t what we got. It was an interesting dish, but not what was on the menu. We haven’t even considered trying breakfast. When my wife spoke to the staff, they acted like they couldn’t understand English. Later, when it was just me, I had a good little chat with them. I’m not a fan of that kind of deception.