Simmons Homestead Inn

My wife and I had a quiet, pleasant night here. The owner was genuinely kind and helpful, and breakfast was great too. We’d recommend it if you enjoy staying in a nostalgic bed and breakfast.

The house was quaint and cute, and I stayed here with my parents and a friend two summers ago. Two things left a bad impression. It was a record-setting hot summer, and the owner kept checking whether we’d left the A/C on when we went out. I did have my dog in the room, but being monitored like that felt odd. Then, while my friend and I were getting breakfast, he warned us that the old Coca-Cola glasses would cost $50 each to replace if we broke one. We were both in our 30s and had been respectful the whole visit, with my parents there too. Why put the glasses out if they’re so precious? Their replacement price was a quarter of our room cost. I was just pouring orange juice when he brought it up. I’ll never forget it, and my friend and I still talk about it.

We booked the Bird room at Simmons Homestead Inn for three nights in Hyannis over Thanksgiving, bringing our dog. Since the Inn is presented as a historic place, we weren’t expecting much from the rooms. The room was clean enough and spacious, but it didn’t have a lock. The toilet was noisy and kept “singing” after each flush. I couldn’t tell whether the tap’s condition was down to its age or something else. What really upset me was breakfast. The website says a lot about Mr. Bill’s wonderful breakfasts, and the owner greeted us cheerfully before going to prepare ours. My wife and I poured coffee into our cups, but mine wasn’t hot enough, so I asked if I could use the microwave. Bill opened a small, dirty one. Inside were sausages sitting on a colorful but dirty advertising insert from a newspaper. He took the paper and sausages out so I could heat my coffee, then put them back in and carried on warming the sausages. Maybe it’s just me, but I found it absolutely disgusting. He charged $200 a night and was heating food on dirty paper. There must have been plates, paper towels, or napkins somewhere in an Inn full of “historic” stuff. He served us three pieces of unripe cantaloupe, two pieces of some kind of pan-fried toast with something else, and those sausages. We gave the sausages to our dog, and I still feel guilty about it. We didn’t go back to the breakfast area after that. I’m speechless about the meal and disgusted with the owner. Are basic food preparation rules even known at this Inn? His cheerful greeting and nonstop blah-blah-blah were bullshit. He had no respect for his customers, and should give us part of our money back. I want to report that breakfast to the authorities, and think his license should be suspended. “Stay away” doesn’t cover it. In my opinion, it should be “Run away from this place.” Shame on you, Bill.

The area is beautiful, and the place is nice and centrally located. It’s great for dogs too. There’s a full breakfast, plus a free wine hour each afternoon and menus listing the 10 best restaurants.