Houser's Hotel

It got the job done, and I didn’t come home with bedbugs or anything, but it’s easily the worst place I’ve slept. The location and lack of affordable options explain why it is what it is. The place smelled like sewage, the carpets are old everywhere, and the rooms are tiny with no amenities. The keys open any door. Short version: if you’re young, have no kids, and are drunk, it’s fine. Everyone else should probably catch the last ferry back.

I’ve never felt racism like that before. My friend and I were told to go somewhere else and f off, and I left feeling unwelcome and wanting to cry. I visited on 7/3/2022 and waited more than 45 minutes for drinks without being served. The bartenders ignored me repeatedly. A white woman tried to help me order, but the bartender said no and only gave her the drinks she’d ordered for herself. Later, two girls helped us order and got our drinks in 10 minutes, and the bartenders were friendly with them. I wouldn’t recommend going unless you’re white.

I’ve stayed here four times and love it, but it’s a budget place with tradeoffs. It’s literally the cheapest hotel on the island, and I’ve checked. If you’re young and broke and here to party, or love Fire Island enough to give up comforts so you can stay longer on a tight budget, this may suit you. It’s very casual, which feels like the spirit of the island. People go barefoot here for a reason. The rooms are clean and air-conditioned, the staff are kind and friendly when you find someone, and the food is so good. The lobster rolls are the best I’ve ever had. The bar stays open late, though, and music carries into rooms, especially those facing town. I bring silicone earplugs, plus flip-flops for the shared showers. If you want fresh towels, you have to find a staff member and ask. There are no maids, room service, or daily fresh towel service. Getting in touch is the other big frustration. They never answer the phone or call back, and I don’t know if anyone checks messages. God help you if you need to change a reservation. They mainly run a bar, with usually one or two people on hotel duty, and sometimes no one free to answer. I do wish they’d pick up sometimes.

After failing to reach the hotel, I lost my money and had to book another place. I called the day I reserved online to confirm, again at 5 p.m. on check-in day and left my number, then called about a dozen more times and left another message. No one answered. The arrival information was missing too. There were no directions on the website or in the confirmation email, and Google Maps made it look like you could drive to the hotel, which you can’t. You have to park on the west side of Fire Island and hike for a couple of hours, or park at the Fire Island Ferries lot in Bay Shore and take the ferry. In October, the ferry stops running a little after 4 p.m., which clashes with a 5 p.m. check-in and gives the impression you can arrive later in the afternoon. If no ferry is running, the only other option might be finding parking at Robert Moses State Park and hiking 6.5 miles, about two hours. The hotel gave none of this information.