Ars vivendi

The staff were exceptionally friendly, and the hotel itself is simple and clean. Breakfast was good, but on my second stay it didn't start until 8:00 am, so I had to miss it. Cologne is noisy, and the train noise here seemed fairly harmless by comparison. If you want good transport connections, it shouldn't be a problem.

LIDL is close by, which was handy. The shower enclosure was falling apart, and housekeeping left the towels and shampoo and soap kit unchanged in the morning. The heating wasn't warm enough, and Wi-Fi costs extra.

The room was spacious, with a fan for summer, clean tiled flooring, a stocked minibar, Wi-Fi and a safe. Those positives didn't make up for what was easily the worst hotel I've stayed at in Germany in five years of frequent travel. There were just three power outlets in the whole room, counting the bedside lamp and TV. The bed creaked with every movement, and the bathroom had broken tiles held with screws, heavy limescale, and what looked like mold in the shower area. I documented the bathroom with photos, and the deposits were only visible if you wore flip-flops. The toilet kept dripping and flushing itself. Reception hours were limited, closing at 7:39 p.m. on weekends and 10:00 p.m. on weekdays. Staff couldn't tell me the quickest way to the convention center, whether on foot or by train. The breakfast room staff weren't friendly, with no greeting in the morning. Breakfast meant one kind of roll and coffee that seemed to have been filtered for the third time, the worst I've had in 30 years. There was also a technical issue: the elevator's TÜV certificate had expired in July 2016, though it was September 29, 2016. A terrible stay, and I wouldn't recommend it.

It's easy to reach the nearest S-Bahn station from here. The hotel is also right by one of Cologne's problem areas, and the park next door is apparently a convenient place to buy your next supply of drugs if you've run out.