Hotel Ahl Meerkatzen

The room was dirty and uncomfortable, with dust everywhere and a bad smell. The safe worked, but it wasn’t bolted down, so I could have picked it up and carried it out. There was no real security there. Housekeeping was also very noisy, shouting in the hallways early in the day. The hotel isn’t worth it. Its only good point is the location.

We stayed three nights, and saw mice in the breakfast room on a couple of occasions. We emailed the manager but never got a response. The room didn’t match any of the website pictures. Its laminate floor was cracked and broken, the beds had no headboards, and there were no bedside lamps. An opaque sticker covered the window, so we couldn’t see out, and the room was cold. Getting there was strange too: from reception, we went through a scratched metal door into the yard with the bins, then up a metal fire escape to room 4. There was no hot water when I tried to shower. We complained at reception, but they said we couldn’t change rooms and there was nothing they could do about the water. It never came right during our stay. This hotel doesn’t resemble the one on its website.

We had a lovely four day break and would stay again if we return to Cologne. The room was very clean, the beds comfortable, and reception staff were pleasant and attentive. Some of the decor is a little tired, which is understandable at this price. Breakfast is continental, so don’t expect fried food. We were happy with the cold cuts, yogurts, boiled eggs, and especially the pumpernickel bread. There was plenty of tea, coffee, and juice. The nearby sex shops and clubs are the one drawback. Germany is more open about sexuality than some countries, and you may come across places like these in a city. The hotel itself is around 300m from the main strips, so it’s a bit quieter, while still giving easy access to the town center, trams, underground, and buses. In many ways it’s an ideal base for exploring the city, and a bit of a hidden gem for the money.

The bathroom didn’t work and had no light. I told reception, and the staff member went up to check and confirmed it, but said there was nothing they could do because the hotel was fully booked. I’d paid full price for a room without a working bathroom. I had to ask to borrow the lamp from the reception area just to get light in there. The whole bathroom smelled strongly like a sewer, so I covered the drain with a towel all night. Then I saw dead bed bugs when I lay down. I’d read the bad reviews but gave the hotel the benefit of the doubt. The experience was very, very traumatic. Staff also made guests wait 30 minutes to check in because one person was busy counting cash from the kasse. This hotel was a waste of time. Better to pay a few extra euros elsewhere. Run, stay away, bed bugs everywhere, and it smells like a sewer.