The Kenbridge Hotel

The campsite's right beside the river, and campers can use the hotel's bar and restaurant. The toilets were tidy, and there's an Elsan disposal point and water available. I stayed at the campsite, so I can't speak to the rooms or service.

The room was very nice and breakfast was great, but dinner and the breakfast TV both let things down for me. I chose the seafood pie. It was tasty and edible, but for £14.50 it was mostly a large bowl of very nice chips and a shallow plate of mashed potato, with perhaps five prawns at most, some bits of haddock and warm grated cheese on top. I know the hotel has costs, but the ingredients seemed like they must have cost £4 at most. There wasn't a vegetable in sight, not even peas in the mash. At breakfast I had to sit through GB News, with its right-wing blarney. It felt odd to assume all guests are anxious Daily Mail readers. The BBC would be a more neutral choice, blasted pinko commie beatniks.

We spent one night at the campsite and found the facilities poor. There are just two toilets and one shower for campers, and they weren't well cleaned. It's also not dog friendly. When we wanted to use the river for sports, the owner came over aggressively and spoke nastily to my friend and me. He insisted we launch our kayak across the bridge, which has no pavement, and we nearly got hit by a bus. Avoid the site at all costs. Camp for free on the other side of the bridge.

Those chips were so good they were almost too delicious. Everything was perfect, and nothing can beat the food.