Geneva Hotel

The one good thing was the location. We came to Miami for a cruise and my husband picked this because it was cheap and near the port. Check-in was in a separate, sketchy-feeling building next door, then we had to carry our bags up stairs in the other building. No elevator or luggage carts. Our room door wouldn't lock because it was broken, the bed was a small full even though it was listed as queen, and it was loud. We could hear people and their noisy beds, while the wood floors made every slammed door, footstep, and rolling suitcase echo all night. The central air system meant we couldn't adjust the room temperature, and the AC wasn't comfortable. The front desk staff weren't awful, but weren't especially friendly either. I got the impression they didn't like tourists. Parking out front costs $50, while the garage was much cheaper and only a short walk away. This place badly needs upgrades. We regret not reading reviews first. It's a dump; pay more for somewhere nicer if you want to sleep.

There's nowhere to leave your bags before check-in. The rooms are very dirty under the beds, and getting anyone to clean is a struggle. We needed toilet paper and they never brought any.

For the price, this place is a clean, comfortable way to stay in South Beach without spending a fortune. The room was spotless, and the staff were wonderful, especially Al, who really went out of his way to make the stay enjoyable. It's an affordable little gem in a great location. People who pay a low rate and expect a full all-inclusive resort experience are being unfair when they leave poor ratings.

I saw Simon’s YouTube video and, though I haven't stayed at this hotel, the cleanliness Simon showed in the room earns it five stars from me.