Daora Lisbon Hostel

The location was good, the kitchen facilities were useful, and it was cheap. The friendly cleaning lady came at least once a day, but the place was still very dirty. There was a locker per room listed as a pro, yet there were no lockers. The Wi-Fi didn't work for me, and someone stole one of my shoes while I was asleep. In the morning, a drunk, stoned guest was begging for money and breakfast. They also wouldn't let me cancel even though only a few hours had passed since the free cancellation period ended. I stayed in the 2D dorm.

The kitchen was a letdown: just one bar chair, a microwave, and no stove, kettle, or other cooking gear. They said eating in the room wasn't allowed because there was a self-catering kitchen, but there wasn't much to use there. My dorm bed was the top bunk in a three-level bed, with no privacy, and it squeaked and wobbled whenever anyone moved. I'd requested a bottom bunk when booking and was told it could be arranged. The picture had shown a bed in a curtained-off section. It was noisy well past 10 pm, with people talking loudly. It was cheap, but that was about the only upside. One of my worst hostel experiences.

I only stayed one night, though it wasn't because I was unhappy. Enlightenment rarely needs more than 24 hours. I arrived late, as all prophets do, to a building under renovation. My wall had no hook for my jacket. The price was surprisingly kind, a humble offering in a city that usually charges extra for its own charm. Here's the highlight: I accidentally slept in the neighbor’s bed. A philosophical mistake, maybe a cosmic joke. He came back to find me, a sleeping stranger, in what he thought was his kingdom. He didn't dare wake me, which says everything about the power of calm ignorance. He slept elsewhere. I slept like Socrates before the hemlock, serene and slightly misplaced. I left before dawn, dragging my suitcase through the renovation dust and wondering if travel is less about seeing the world and more about learning whose bed you've stolen this time.

I'm trying to sleep, but someone keeps roaming around the room and trying to smoke, even though smoking isn't allowed there. It's 4 am and he's driving me crazy. I can't sleep, and I'm already in poor health this morning. The room service isn't good either. Don't book here.